An Odd Start to The Morning
Wow… you ever just truly have one of those days in which .. just.. I da even know??? I have been sitting at Starbucks for 50 minutes and have been approached 3 4 times already by just the most outrageous, interesting, and well… truly unique people I have ever seen/meet. Not sure what the deal is today…the election, the air, something funky in the free Starbucks coffee or who knows… thinking I must have that look to me that says… yes, please come tell me your crazy ass life story!!??
Anyways, while sitting in the corner of Starbucks typing away the first person to approach me was a gentleman with a truly unique persona. He was very enthusiastic and asked if he may speak with me for a moment before really moving forward with the conversation. I looked at him somewhat puzzled and nodded. He started rambling about the weather and how today must be his lucky day. He went on to tell me that I look like a geni and that today things would be revealed to me. Wasn’t even sure how to respond so I just told him I wasn’t granting anymore wishes at the moment, which gave him a chuckle, and he left with this odd Cheshire cat grin on his face. This kinda freaked me out a bit as sometimes people say such odd things to me and just look at me like… just wait. Ever see that movie, The Truman Show? Yeah, sometimes I swear I feel like its my life!
Back to the computer for a mere 5 minutes and another gentleman approached me. He was older and very pleasant. He wanted to take a quick peek at my computer and asked how I liked it and such. We had a nice conversation and he mentioned he was working on developing a new software to protect against hackers. He said he was interested in hiring testers if anyone’s interested? ;) Anyways… for some reason this just gave me a bit of the giggles but at least it was a decent conversation and I was no longer feeling like some girl that needed to go hide out in her bottle.
As soon as the gentleman left, a woman approached me. She was older and not dressed very well. Her brown hair was thin, somewhat brushed and her face was very red… almost windburned looking. Her eyes were very deep and truly the story was there. She apologized for interrupting me but she wanted to know where in the neighborhood the homeless people lived?! She said she wanted to “help” them and then she started to ramble about her life and how her parents abandoned her and how she was bipolar and wanted to be stable and on and on. She wasn’t unpleasant nor rude or abrasive but I just was not sure what it was she wanted from me. She just continued to tell me she just wanted to help those people and she didn’t know how to go about doing it. I wasn’t really sure what to tell her either, so I just smiled and told her she had a beautiful dream and wished her well. Suppose it was my nice way of trying to say please leave, but she didn’t. She rambled a bit more and then finally walked away after thanking me for listening to her. Suppose I wasn’t really in the mood to listen to her… and in reality I didn’t all that much, but I guess it was more of a respect issue there. Sometimes its just nice to be heard… I get that.
Finally, my cousin’s wife saw me and started screaming my name in that… “OMG girlfriend WTF are you doing here” kinda way… like she forgot I had moved back to Cali or something. We chatted a bit and was nice to see her again (There is some history there with the family… won’t go into detail.. but yeah) Anyways, always so much fun to have to be asked details about my divorce/move and what I am up to now… can’t wait to be done with those conversations!
So, finally through with chatting to people and my time is up… off to pick up the monkey from preschool!
**Oh yes… and the strange man that talks to himself, wears sweats, a leather biker jacket, a sombrero hat, and carries a yellow bucket was in here as well reading the stock pages yet again circling things and taking notes… **
The Monkey and his Peanut Butter
Don’t ever leave a tired 3 year old majorly hyped up on candy alone for even 2 MINUTES with a jar of peanut butter!!!!!
Among his other unique and special talents… he is also going to be an artist… whoot!!
ahhahahahah :)
Yes I totally confuse the fuk outta myself
I do… it’s true. I tend to hear or read only half the story or even worse hear/read only what I want to. I swear this runs in the family.. or perhaps is just a side effect due to some trauma… hopefully it will pass. But I do tend to have some conversations with people and get confused. Perhaps it is because I am stubborn… perhaps because I read into it more than need be… perhaps because I don’t read into it enough… perhaps I am just a lot sillier than people realize. And no, none of these are excuses… I know.
Either way… happens a lot. The only one person I think I get confused by but can make 100% out of it is with my sister. We have gone through a lot together and sometimes its like we are in our own weird world… we just tend to be really silly, but always manage to make each other laugh.
(L) Hey sis… whats up babe?
(W)Ummmm cooking…. think I cut my finger.
(L) You think?
(W) Don’t wanna look… ‘cause then it will hurt
(L) Oh ok… gross
(L) So did you see that video I sent?
(W).. hahaha.. yeah… OMG.. that was sooo funny!! Where did you find it??
(L) the kiwi sent it to me
(W) kiwi? Isn’t that a fruit?
(L) Yep
(W) So the fruit sent you a video?
(L) Yeah …. ha… my friend sent it.
(W) So, why do you call him kiwi?
(L) He is from New Zealand
(W) What the hell does that have to do with kiwis?
(L) I da know… I think it’s a bird actually
(W) what? Nooo a kiwi is a fruit. Ohh is he gay?
(L) hahaha… its like Australians call themselves aussies or something… people from New Zealand call themselves kiwis… I don’t know …
(W) that’s just weird… I really wanna go visit Austraila sometime… shit I think I just cut my finger again…. umm ok.. let me call you back.
WTF… OMFG… Oh please nooooo
OMFG…. I have been saying this for the past 20 minutes and have almost vomited twice now. About… 20 minutes ago my son walks into my room with a steaming hot bag of poo!!!!!
How the story starts… he walks into my room and says, “doggy went, so I clean up”.
Ok, so my reaction as he walks towards me with a plastic bag while saying this was “wow… how responsible of my little monkey to want to clean up.” I am a good pet owner and always clean up after my pet on walks… so for him to take notice I suppose was a good thing.
Then… the smell hits me and the reality of the situation smacked me like a bag of sand and it really made me gag. I think I jumped up 5 feet off my chair. Worse than a snail with no shell… worse than a dead rat… this was .. just tooo awful for words. I wasn’t aware he already “attempted” to pick up the poop! And by attempted… I mean that not only was there hot poop sitting partially covered in a plastic blag… there was poop all over the bag, all over his hands, and all over him!!!
I pick him up and rushed him to the tub… turned on the shower while he is fully clothed and began to hose him down all the while gagging and just mumbling omfg… omfg.. why child.. why???
I take his clothes off and bathe him with my bubble bath stuff that smells awesome…but wasted like half the bottle just trying to clean him up and get the smell out of my nose!!
After he was cleaned up, I had the fun job of getting down on my hands and knees to see where he tracked in the yuck. I attempted to clean up best I could… but it just isn’t good enough… rug cleaners come tomorrow!! uggggg.. why… omfg.. why??!!!
OMFG.. I am a tard
Tonight I sat here.. in this chair… for 2+ hours writing. Writing about just.. everything… from my battles I am almost done with to those people in my life that have really been there for me lately… but for the freggin life of me… i can’t post them. Wrote them.. and feel pretty cool about it… but just can’t post them… nope??
WHY??
Gezzz… u tell me!!!! Nothing was real serious or over the top… pretty simple actually.. but perhaps if I do post it… then…. who knows… crap!
Either way.. maybe another glass of wine will lead me just to finish this shit up whatever it be. Sooo dang lame I tell ya. FUKEROMA!!! (my new word) s-w-e-e-t huh??
Anyways, maybe should just run off now to watch my flying monkey sleep and dream of living life on a giant yacht (of course with kick ass surround sound, wine cellar, disco room, and plenty of room to invite friends), docked at a gorgeous private island with the most amazingly beautiful beach ever - shark and creepy fish free!!!
yip yip yip :)
in·sane via L’s definition
You ever just have one of those moments in which you feel like you must either be the most sane.. or the most insane person in the world?? Like… just nothing possible makes sense to you? Or even worse, everything seems to make complete sense and yet everyone else around you disagrees?
Oh yeah… welcome to my world!! Anyways… I often get those… OMG I am going insane “moments”.. so thought I would put things into perspective.
Def: in·sane
–adjective
1. not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.
2. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is mentally deranged: insane actions; an insane asylum.
3. utterly senseless: an insane plan.
L’s definition of it:
1.not sane; not of sound mind.. actually the sound of my mind kinda rattles around a lot.. and plays music from Dora the explorer and the likes; mentally deranged.. of course.. lets toss in physically and emotionally as well for safe measures.
2.of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is mentally deranged: insane actions.. such as reading, studying, and analyzing too much online marketing, SEO, and internet related material… speaking in such oddities that NO ONE, other than a person interested in these things could possible understand or conceive…stating that your annual vacation to Vegas will consist of the hottest internet conference out there.. and that you are excited by it; an insane asylum- that would just be my home :)
3.utterly senseless: an insane plan… yip.. I speak in terms that most people cannot make sense of.. nor “hear” at times and my “plan” is pretty insane, yet I believe in it. My mind maps would confuse most humans on the planet and my path is one paved of creativity rather than a desire to live a life of static enjoyment.
So, insane it shall be for the moment…
The “WTF.. You Are Weird” Look is Pretty Universal
I should not be allowed in public sometimes…really! Even when I say that out loud, people kinda give me that.. yip, so true lady nod.
On the outside, I look and come across as fairly normal. (or so I think). But underneath it all I am just a crazy, odd, silly girl. (yet highly intelligent and blonde.. and no.. that is not a contradiction in terms).
I think the reason is that my life kinda runs with chaos, so I am constantly multitasking, causing my brain to be torn in many different directions. Plus.. I have some other slightly weird obsessions (nothing *totally weird.. but combined again, a tad strange for some).
I love talking about blogging and social media, I love talking about my kid, I love talking about my crazy days in the 80’s, I love telling people funny stories about myself, I love to just ramble…and am prone to verbal dyslexia and “foot in mouth” syndrome. I combine ALL of these things at once and just ramble. And in there lies the problem, really.
One minute I am discussing my love for wordpress plugins… the next I am talking about how I used to have purple hair back in the day. Most people that know me, just sorta look at me with that universal WTF look on there face, and ignore me. BUT for those unfortunate few (haha) that don’t really know me.. some of this can come across as a shock I think.. or perhaps they are just amused with my crazy life and don’t know quite how to respond.
So, for all of those lovely people in the world that have yet to meet me… just a couple of words. Yip, I am a tad weird. Yip, it totally ok to laugh AT me or give me that wtf look. Yip, expect me to ramble at times, it can still be very entertaining. And, yip… add a few cocktails in me, and I DO get even weirder. “cheers”